Cancer Survival Is Not About Being Positive

As a cancer survivor, every time I read about 'positive attitudes' I want to scream. I survived cancer (9 years, 4 months, 4 days and counting), and yes I am a positive person fortunately. However, this had nothing to do with my survival. I had great insurance, I had great doctors, I had a horrid but effective chemo/radiation/surgery regimen and I was lucky enough to survive it all.

This ridiculousness that people can just 'try harder' and beat cancer has got to end - particularly from the American Cancer Society. Survival is a combination of genetics, luck, the kind of cancer cell it is, the availability of treatment, the other complications that might arise, etc. You would not expect someone with schizophrenia or heart disease to 'think themselves' into a cure by being positive, so why do we place this burden on people struggling to overcome cancer?

Please stop implying or thinking that if one is 'disciplined' and 'positive' enough that person will be 'cured'. Not only is it totally irresponsible and a bunch of crap, it undermines and degrades the efforts of people who are not only unfortunate enough to develop cancer but now must be guilty of 'not being positive' enough if they die.

Let's keep 'new age' hopefulness out of the science room, folks. Cancer sucks and I hate everyone of those 100 different cells (from different cancers) that try to kill us.

Yes, being positive and sweet and grateful and all those lovely qualities that some of us express some of the time are wonderful things to be. Our caregivers appreciate them even more than most, but guilt for being upset, angry, sad, sentimental, emotional, tired or even completely exhausted and fatigued by the disease and the treatment? This is human. Please allow us at least that.

I do believe we are not given more than we can handle each day without being given the grace to handle it... but have a heart. Nobody with cancer really feels happy about it. That would be a complete absurdity. Let us feel our feelings, please, even if they might make someone else (or you) uncomfortable. Someone fighting for his or her life has the right to be self-centered, moody and distressed at the very least.

Thanks for letting me defend all those people who go a bit negative, cry, swear, vomit, suffer agonizing pain... because when you are in that situation in life the last thing you want somebody to do is suggest you 'cheer up'.