Outside Loos? Men will pay extra... really.

Today I was stumbling through the people I follow on Twitter and came across one tweet that connected me to another website called TreeHugger. Okay, so that site wasn't the deal, it was just a one page article on Outside Bathrooms, or maybe I should just say it like it is. Outhouses.

Yes, my friend, there appear to be a great number of Britains - and other Europeans - who regard their outhouses as valuable amenities. Granted, America still has lots of woods compared to other continents, but this one floored me. I suppose because, like most Americans, I am very impressed when I hear an elegant British accent. Yes, I've been to Europe, but even Madison Avenue knows that if they use anything that we think is a British accent - could be Australian or South African for that matter - we are programmed to believe they are telling the truth. Maybe even that they are smarter... and richer and sexier.

Oh, come on. This isn't news. If we hear a Spanish accent or Italian, we think of lovers ... and if we hear a joyful island lilt we can feel the sun. Okay so my husband has a slight accent which I find particularly engaging, but you would too. Admit it. And if you hear a French accent, don't you think of mistresses,heartbroken spouses retaliating with an affair, a passion for book clubs (not so much reading them but pretending to) and miserably lacking resolution in final scenes in all their movies. I freely admit I have some built-in stereotypes I carry around with me, but impulse stereotypes are not really anyone's fault.

As a matter of fact, if you are out scoping the singles world, fake a foreign accent (but fake it well, of course). You are likely to gain a lot more interest than with a Philly, New York or Boston accent. (Exceptions to this are southern accents, which I find deliriously engaging when they drawl away about sustainability and the importance of keeping our civil liberties.)

This I proved when I was 17 and my girlfriend and I were running around flirting and pretending to be French exchange students. As I had studied French for several years by then, the only challenge I ever got was "Really? Sing Frere Jacques."

Of course, any idiot can sing a children's song, but I could really lay on the thick French accent. Besides, there are oh so many ways to say things like, "Mon dieu! Boujour. Bon soir and of course, au revoir." Hey, it freaked my mother out enough when I started practicing at home to forbid me to do it. It was okay, I had sort of lost interest by then anyway.

So back to the subject of outhouses. I will say that there are some compost toilets on the market now that are highly effective and conserve our water resources, but the article did not indicate if this was a honey-bucket attempt or sustainable. If you know something about this I would love to get your comments. It appears that although in the 1950's this was a source of embarrassment to middle class families in Britain, men have always 'loved them some outdoor loos'. It appears that their gender is also the one maintaining these structures - and willing to pay more for properties with one, so perhaps this is why the women don't object vigorously enough to abolish them. The men appear to actually regard these outdoor enclaves as 'getaways'. (I'll stick with art supply stores, thank you.)

Ah yes, men will always surprise me with one exception. There is absolutely nothing we women can do that will ever truly domesticate our counterparts.